On Episode III

UUUUGHHH!!!

tama ka jing, those were pretty cheesy bad lines and stuff, but
remember, this is for kids supposedly, so...but still it was bad
writing. maybe they weren't putting too much weight on haydn
christensen's acting prowess so they kept it to mimicry. but
yeah...padme made me want to puke.

let us not forget the fact that jarjar binks, though shown twice in
the movie did not utter a single sound. thank the force for that. i
wanted to see an episode 2.5 that goes sommething like this:

on screen:

Long ago in a galaxy far far away...

opening music cue scrolling text

EPISODE 2.5
JARJAR BINKS MUST DIE

Darth Maul, due to insistent public demand has risen from the dead
for one final mission for the dark side! To kill the insanely
annoying JarJar Binks!

fade in jar jar binks standing in a common coruscant world room

jarjar: helo! misa jar....

BGSFX:(pssssh!psssh!)

pan left to darth maul with dual bladed lightsaber goes into a
spectacular attack combo at jarjar

SFX: (whang!whang!whang!whang!whang!)

jarjar: aaaaaaaaaaahhHH!!!!

jarjar is cut into little annoying wiggly pieces, darth maul poses
in clearly defiant yet satisfied sith way

darth maul sheathes lightsaber and walks away from annoying
quivering masses of jarjar flesh

SFX:(psssshpssshfft!)

jarjar: gurgle! gurgle! gurgle!

fade to black

enter EPISODE III

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> and, i don't even remember R2D2 being that agile in episode 4 to
> 6! side booster rockets? kainlan pa? watch episode 5 and see how
> helpless R2 was at the dega ba system.

about R2D2's agility. episode 4 happened nearly 17 years later from
episode iii. by this time, R2 for a time has been with the JAWAs of
Tatooine and obviously has been cannibalized for parts, and any
fuel that has been in his rockets would have been used up. thus his
inability to fly in episode 4. if you remember, that electric
shocker he used was still around till episode 6. thus we come to
the problem at degoba. one could simply say, because he sank in the
water...yada yada yada. but its absence in his repertoire could be
much more simply be returned to the JAWAs of Tatooine who have
those said thrusters.

> also, erasing the memories of the two droids at the end of the
> movie was a clever trick of lucas to put the patches n the holes
> that has been bugging the entire star wars universe.

actually i think it was only C3PO's memory that was erased. R2D2
kept his i think. thus his importance during episode IV as leah's
personal assistant. i have to watch it again to be sure.

> breaking out from his clutches, newly appointed darth vader
> shouts "NAOOOOOOOHH!! - bad acting at it's best! har har har!!!

it would have been cooler if instead of breaking out of his bonds
like he was walking in mud with a hernia, he could have just
"forced" his way off then strode off and then screamed the
"Naooooooh!" as you quipped, without the stupid shoulder armor
getting in the way of his arms.

> natapos din thank god!

but you have to admit, that first breath of vader, and the scene
where sith master and apprentice were staring romantically side by
side watching the rising of the death star was pretty cool.

VADER: You are so beautiful!

PALPATINE: It's only because I'm so in love . . .

VADER: No, it's because I'm so in love with you.

PALPATINE: So love has blinded you?

VADER: Well, that's not exactly what I meant . . .

PALAPATINE: But it's probably true!

pan out and to right focus on new death star

INTRO BGM: Imperial March

FADE TO BLACK