I REMEMBER YOU

Two years ago, you texted me a question: Will you tell me why no one can love me the way you do?
I think I answered because no one can. Because no one saw you the way i saw you. Because they didn't worship you, or accept you for what you really are, for these never saw what you can be. What you could have been, could still be. Because unlike these men who loved you because they needed love themselves, I love you because you were worth the love. They loved you, I believed in you. I had faith in you. I worshiped you. And as every woman from Eve the snakeslave of Lilith to your own daughter will tell you. A woman will choose worship over love. I let myself be kept around, I had nothing better to do anyway. But you thought that wasn't going anywhere. You were wrong. Very wrong. Because someone saw the way I worshiped you and wanted it for herself. She made ways to take it, and took it she did. Then you were left with nothing but the pawings of your suitors and lovers, but the worship was gone. And your life became empty. We had almost everything when we were together. The only thing missing was your affirmation. But then again, I never asked for it. I didn't want to lose you, but I know anyone who tried to keep you, lost you. You will not be reined. Mine was the softest leash you ever had. You were my most beloved pet. The one I had the longest but couldn't keep. Ours was a hidden, fierce, unspeakable love. As complicated and unbidden and crazy as all kinds of love should be. Unthiking, brutal, feverish. But to speak of it, to hint of it, to even slightly touch its gossamer wings would destroy it. And that is what we did when we did. Now you are ashamed of it. you are troubled by its memory. I remember it. I remember you. Why no one can love you the way I do? Because I can, and I choose to do so. Something the cowards who you call your men can't because they can't bring themselves to worship something else aside from themselves. Worship to ruin.