I HATE FRIENDS

"It's true! My invisible bunny friend told me so!"

"Oh that's impossible my dear."

"What? Invisible bunnies?"

"That you have friends."

*******

I don't need you. I don't need your twisted wisdom. I don't need to consult you for anything technical. I have never asked you for anything that I have to work at repaying you back for. What have I ever needed from you? I feel I can really live without you and I have lived without you. But you keep coming back, and well just get me upset with your inane stories and your childish tantrums and your uncouth opinions and your insults. Then when I begin to move away because I have been sick of all your bullshit all these years, you run after me and is suddenly all sorry-like.

You make up for your stupidity with apologies and explanations, which I don't really care for. But because I am by nature "a nice guy," I let you hang around me again. After all, even if you don't realize it, and nor will you admit. YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS LEFT. YOU ARE ALONE.

There lies the reason why you keep coming to me and cling. I can handle being alone. I have been alone so much in my life that being lonely is my status quo. Having to deal with other human beings is a chore for me at times when all I want is to be left alone.

My mother will attest to the truth that the only reason I am a very social person is I studied how to be. Naturally, I am a loner. I'm okay with being alone. You? You can't handle being alone. And, you can't handle treating people right either. I mean if you did something pretty substantial for me, I would remember it right?

Nope. Nothing there. Just annoyance, insults, tantrums, bullying. That must be it. You are a bully, a bully that can't handle being one, so you use arguments, being a brat, running roughshod as your means of keeping relationships. You thrive in the arguments, the conflicts. You are an anger-whore. A hate-eater.

Maybe as a child you were dropped, and when you came to, you decided that to get your way, to get your parent's attention you had to be a screamer, a bully, an emotional blackmailer.

That has been your favorite pastime recently. Blackmailing me with emotions. And honestly, I'm a little sick of it. But I can't tell you directly how I feel either. All you would do is thrive in the resulting argument, throw a tantrum and then blackmail me all over again.

I can't walk away either, because you won't let me. You will track me down all over again and stick like a bad rash. Blackmailing me all along the way.

In short, I am trapped. I know I am, but I think it's time I told you what the hell you have been doing to me. The least you can do is offer me your younger sister as a sex slave as partial payment for services rendered.

Friendship? Bull. This is an act of terror.